Chloe's book recommendations – Part 4

Updated: Mar 29

I am excited to highlight some of my favourite books that I use in my work as an LGBTQ counsellor and trainer.

Next up is ...

Rewriting the Rules – An Anti Self-Help Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships

Who wrote it?

Meg-John Barker

Meg-John Barker is the author of a number of popular books on sex, gender, and relationships, including Queer: A Graphic History; Gender: A Graphic Guide; How To Understand Your Gender; Life Isn’t Binary, Enjoy Sex (How, When, and IF You Want To); Rewriting the Rules; The Psychology of Sex; and The Secrets of Enduring Love. They have also written a number of books for scholars and counsellors on these topics, drawing on their own research and therapeutic practice.

Twitter: @megjohnbarker

Instagram: @meg_john_barker

What the book is about?

'Rewriting the Rules: An Anti Self-Help Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships is a friendly guide through the complicated – and often contradictory – advice that's given about sex and gender, monogamy and conflict, break-up and commitment.

It asks questions about the rules of love, such as which to choose from all the rules on offer? Do we stick to the old rules we learnt growing up, or do we try something new and risk being out on our own?

And what about the times when the rules we love by seem to make things worse, rather than better?'

Why I find it Helpful?

As an LGBTQ counsellor I found this book to be gold dust. It is VERY inclusive of LGBTQ people as it explores diversity in how people manage difference in finding love, managing relationships (monogamy, conflict, break-ups, commitment) and exploring societal expectations around sex.

Rules are something many people – including myself – have a tendency to latch on to. As humans we search for meaning in life, and rules can help us feel safe, makes sense of what is happening and predict what might happen next. However, as a counsellor I am well aware that saying ‘should’ can be dangerous as there is